Premi- Mujhe mehanti saadgi se rehne wale
AagyakariAur Ghar sanwar kr rakhne wali ladki chahiye
Girl- Mere ghar aa k mere naukrani ko le ja
**********
Hum pagal unke piche
Wo pagal koi aur ke piche
Koi aur pagal apke piche
Aap pagal kisi aur k piche
HahahaSare pagal aage piche
**********
Jab apks sms ata hai
Mera rom rom machal uthta hai
Ang ang me gudgudi hota hai
Ye sms ka kasur nahi hai
Kambakth mobile vibrate hota hai
**********
Great people think about ideas
Average people talk about things
Small people talk about other people
And legend people never talk
They send SMS
**********
Arz kiya hai
Ke ruthi hai aise wo humse
Jaise hum sach me unhe mana lenge
Wah Wah
Itna waqt Q bekar kare
Itne me to hum dusri pata lenge
**********
Bhikari ne phone kiya
Hello Taj Hotel?
1 Pizza
1 Biryani
1 Rasmalai bhej do…
Taj – Kiske naam se bejhu?
Bhikari – Allah k naam pe bhej de
**********
Pakisthan me twins baby paida hue to SAAS boli
“Lo batao, Hamare pakisthan ki halat dekh kar
ab bache v akele ate hue darte hai
**********
Ganja going on road
A bird ghits on his head
“Hey Bhagwan ye kya hua”
Bhagwan – Bacha tu itni dhup me ja raha hai
Maito sirf sunscreen lotion dala hai
**********
Pad kar kya karma hai
Akhir ek din sabko marna hai
4 din khusi se jee lo
Kyunki agle janam me phir se
Nursery se hi shuru karna hai
**********
Boy - Raat ko neend nehi
Subah ko chain nehi
Har pal pyas hi pyas hai
Aag hi aag hai
Kya yhi pyar hai?
Girl – Nehi yeh to garmi ki shuruwat hai
Shama jail to parwane bane
Sharab bani to maikhane khule
E dost apni birth date hi batao
Pata to chale
Kis din pagal khane bane
**********
Happy pagal day
Ye msg usko bhejo jo apki nazar me duniya ka sabse bada pagal hai
Maine to bhej diya
Ab mujhe wapas bhej kar maha paaglo wala harkat mat karma
**********
Boy to Father-
Baap idhar aa
Mother- Aise nahin bolte beta
Daddy ko izzat se bulate hai
Boy- Baap…Izzat se idhar aa
**********
Yeh kis tarah yaad arah ho
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aarahe ho
Na jane ku aisa lagta hai ki
Samne khare ho aur
POONCH hila hari ho
**********
SAAS- Bhagyan ne tumhe 2 akhen di
Chawal se pathar nahi nikal sakti
BAHU- Bhagyan ne tumhe 32 dant diye
2-4 pathar nahi chaba sakti
**********
Blackmailing in a new style
EMPLOYEE- Agar apne meri salary nai badhai to
Mai sare office ko bata dunga ki
Apne meri salarybadha di hai
**********
Santa- Oye kya kar raha he?
Banta- Is baby ki aawaz record kar rha hu
Santa- Wok u?
Banta- Wo jab bada ho jayega
Us se is ka matlab puchunga
**********
Sweet like honey
Costly like money
Blessing like shower
Smiling like flower
Cool like ice
A person so nice
Guess who?
Oye hello !
Its me, not u
**********
Khat likh raha hu khun se
Saahi mat samajna
-
-
Khat likh raha hu khun se
Saahi mat samajna
Kisi mariz ka sample liya tha
Mera mat samajna
**********
Most innocent dhamki
As the thief was leaving the house
A kid woke up & said-
Mera school bag bhi le ja kamine
Warna MUMMY ko jaga dunga
This is an Adult msg
If u r under the age of 18Pls don’t read this sms…
-
-
-Election is round the cornerPlz VOTE
**********
Ye pyar v ajib cheez he
Maa se ho to mamta
Bap se ho to kartavya
Bhai se ho to dharm
Bahan se ho to farz
Aur
Biwi se ho to
Sonu
Monu
Chotu
**********
Arz kiya hai
Mera yeh dil teri hi mohabbat ke liye hai
Wah Wah
Mera yeh dil teri hi mohabbat ke liye hai
Lekin
Ye offer kam time ke liye hai
**********
Boy- Janeman is dil me aja
Gril- Sandle nikalu ?
Boy- Pagli, ye mandir nahi,
Aise hi aja
**********
Pappu Double Decker bus me upar jakar betha
Jaise hi bus chali wo bhagkar niche aa gaya
Conductor – Niche Q aaye?
Pappu- Oye, upar driver nehi hai
**********
Full form of BOYS
B- Badmashiyo me sabse aage
O- Owl ki tarah raat me jage
Y- Yaarian nibhate jaan laga ke
S- Sharif sirf maa-baap k aage
**********
Pappu auto se ek wheel nikal raha tha
Sonu- Tum auto se wheel Q nikal rahe ho
Pappu- Dikhai nei deta yaha likha he-
“Parking is only for 2wheelers”
**********
What is the similarity between Marriage and 11.59pm?
Ans- Dono k baad 12 bajte hai
aur din badal jate hai
**********
Ek admi bola aisi zindgi se to maut acchi
Achanak Yamdut aya or bola-
Tumhara jan lene ka hokum hai
Admi- Lo batao ab insaan mazak bhi na kare
**********
Ek aap ho jo
Payare ho
Kabil ho
Smart ho
Sundar ho
Aur ke hum hai jo otna jhut bilte hai
**********
Kya apne kabhi
“BHOOT”
ko plastic cover me lipta dekha hai
Nehi
Waqai nehi
To apna ID Card nikal kar dekh lena
Bina gum khusi ka pata kese chelega
Bina roye hasi ka maza kese milega
Wo jo v karta he wo hi janta hai
Hum jan gaye to use khuda kon kehga
**********
Un k honto pe jab naam mera ayega
Khud ko ruswai se kaise bchaya hoga
Sun k fasana oro se meri barbadi ka
Kya unko
Apna sitam na yaad aya hoga
**********
Hum to tere dilki mehfil sajane aye the
Teri kasam tuze apna banane aye the
Kis bat ki saza di tune humko
Hum to tere dard ko apna banana aye the
**********
Mitti ka jism leke pani k ghar me hu
Manzil me maut meri har pal safar me hu
Hona he qatl ye malum he muze
Par khbar nhi kisi nazar me hu
**********
Pyar wafa sab kuch mita diya hota
Uska nam tak bhula diya hota
Agar tasvir uski dil me na hoti
To ksam se khud ko b jala diya hota
**********
Na tasveer hai aapki jo deedar kiya jaye
Na aap pass ho jo pyar kiya jaye
Yeh konsa dard diya hai apne
Na kuch kaha jaye
Na Apke bina jiya jaye
**********
Na dil se hota hai
Na dimag se hota hai
Ye pyar to itefaq se hota hai
Par pyar karke pyar mile
Ye itefaq kisi kisi ke sath hota hai
**********
Mohobbat wo bhi jatane lage he
Paigam unke bhi aane lage hai
Ikraar karte he vo mohobbat ka ab
Jan unki duniya hum chod kar jane lage he
**********
Chahnewalo kabi apna b zamana tha
Sara saher kabi apna b diwana tha
Tum to karte ho dosto se dosti
Apna to dusmano se b yarana tha
**********
Is do pal ki jindagi me yanhaai ku he
Apko hum se hamesha ruswai q hai
Is duniya me insaan kam to nhi
Fir b mere sath sirf meri parchai ku hai
Zindgi mere ansu me dhal gayi
Sare zamane ki mujse nazar bdal gayi
Waqt ne aisa sitam kiya hai Yaro
Ke har arzu mere hatho se fisal gyi
**********
Kash koi hume bata de
Log kaise apne pyar ko bhool jate he
Kasme khate he Jiske sath jeene marne ki
Fir kaise wo uska dil 1 pal me tod jate he
**********
Shaam udas thi
Subah udas thi
Kafan me lipti meri laas thi
E duniya walo mujhe wahi dafnna
Jaha meri uski pehli mulakat thi..
**********
Kalrat sapne me teri tasver bna dali
Dil ko itni achi lagi k sene se laga dali
Kisi ki nazar na lag jaye tuze
Isliye apne hi aansu se mita dali
**********
Mera nasib mit gya mere hatho se
Banke ansu jhalk gya meri ankho se
Aap hi btaye kaise bhul jau tumko
Jo dur hi nhi gya meri sanso se
**********
Par raat nahi kat ti hai
Ab a bhi jao JAAN
Tere bina sanse bhi nahi chalti hai
I MISS U
**********
Mujhe seene se lagane wala koi nhi
Agar ruth jau to manane wala koi nhi
JAAN tu itni ziddi kab se ho gyi
Agr mar gya to kafan pahnane wala koi nhi
**********
Wo dhundte rhe hume dar badar
Shayad unhe hamari talash thi
Par afsos jis kabar par the unke kadam
Usi kabr me meri lash thi
**********
Pyar ki kali sab ke liye khilti nahi
Chah kar bhi har 1 cheez milti nahi
Sacha pyar kismet se milta hai
Par har 1 ko aisi kismet milti nahi
**********
Is dunia ki sabse badi haqikt
Agar
Ap kisi ko unki hesiyt se jyada pyar karo to
1din wai pyr apke prati nafrat ka karan ban jata hai
Ek zra si bhool khata ban gai
Meri wafa hi meri szaa ban gai
Dil lia aur khel kar tod dia
Hmari jaan gai aur unki adaa ban gai
**********
Kisiki yaad mere pas rehti hai
Bahot dino se ankhe udas rehti hai
Bichad gya wo par dil nahi manta
Na jane Q milne ki ab b aas rehti hai
**********
Dil kuch khatak raha he
Saanso me kuch atak raha he
Tumhe na hogi is baat ki khabar kabhi
Ki tumhe pane k liye koi bhatak raha he
***********
Pehli mohabbat main khata kar raha hu
Kisi bewafa se wafa kar raha hu
Vo thukraae to kya hua mere khuda
Tu hi mila de duwa kar raha hu
**********
Hr roz naya zakhm e judai n diya kar
Pyar krna nhi hota to mt kiya kar
Ab teri bato me sachai nhi milti
Ab apni mohbt ki safai na diya kar
**********
Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaro
Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaro
Kya hua jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara
Door tak roshni to ho gayi yaaro
**********
Lafzon me fasane dhondte hai
Lamho me zamane dhondte hai
Tum zeher bhi do magar pyar se
Hum to tum par fanah hone ke bahane dhondte hai
**********
Usko mere waado ka aitbaar hoga
Dil me kisi ka bahut pyar hoga
Chhod dia usne bich jakar mera sath
Shayd kinre pr use kisi or ka intzar hoga
**********
A khuda pyar nhi likha tha taqdir me to
Unse ishq q krvaya
Shayad tadpte dekhna chahte the hume
Q uss ke pyar ka hume mohra bana dia
**********
Khaye he lakho dhoke
1 dhoka or she lenge
Tum le jao apni doli ko
Hum apne janaze ko barat keh lenge
Tum sath na Do mera
Chalna MUZE aate hay
Har aag se WAKIF hu may
Jalna Mujhe aata hai
**********
Safar Me Dhoop Hogi Chal Sko To Chalo
Sabi He Safar Me
Chal Sako To Chalo
Yaha Koi Kisi Ko Rasta Nhi Deta
Muze Gira K Sambhal Sko To Chalo
**********
Apki yadon ka Mehal bnaya humne
Arzu ka diya is mein jalaya humne
Bhulne wale tujhe meri qasam
Koi wo lamha bta jis me tujhe bhulaya humne
**********
Hum ye nahi kehta k koi unke liye dua n mange
Hum ye nahi kehta k koi unke liye dua n mange
Bas itna chate hai k koi dua me unko N Mange
**********
Kbi himat to kbi hosle se har gye
Hum bad nasub the jo her kisi se har gye
Ajib khel ka medan hai ye duniya
K jisko jeet chuke Usise har gaye
**********
Uski ankho me koi dukh bsa ho shayad
Ya mujhe vahem ho shayad
Maine poocha ke Bhool Gye ho mujhko
Sun kar usne Aankhon se kaha “SHAYAD”
**********
Haqikt k rup me khwab banta gya
Jese jese wo chera kitab bnta gya
Usne kaha pani acha kgta he
Fir, mere ashqo ka talab bnta gya
**********
Chahkar bhi dilse hume mita na paoge
Chahkar bhi hume bhula na paoge
Ye vaada karte hai apse ae sanam
Har hasin vhere me meri surat paoge
**********
Log khate hai mhabut Zindgi hoti hai Maut nhi
Magr unhe kya ptaDhoka v Zindgi Deti hai
Maut Nhi
**********
Pal aisa tha ki hum inkar na kar paye
Zamane k dares ikrar na kar paye
Na thi jinke bina zindgi munasib
Chor dia sath aur hum sawal na kar paye
Patni-Main tumhari zindagi ki kitaab hu
Pati-Yahi to afsos hai Calender hoti to hr saal change to kr leta
**********
Teri Dosti me diwane ho gaye
Tujhe apna banate banate begane ho gaye
Pukar le 1 bar pyar se mere dost
MURGE ki awaz sune zamane ho gaye
**********
Santa Rail ki Patri Pr So Gya
Banta-Kya Kar Rahe ho Train Ayegi To Maroge
Snta-Mere Upar Se Jahaj Guzar Gya To Kuch Nhi Hua,Train Kya Chej he
**********
Dost Ka Jb Koi
Pegham Ayega
Honto Pe Tera Hi
Nam Ayega
Lag Jaye Jb Tere
Damn Pe Koi Dagh
To Gbrana Mt
Akhir Surf Exel Kb
Kaam Ayega
**********
Santa:Why has the Govt
Fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta:Govt ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan he
Lekin biwi ko nhi
**********
Santa:Arre dekh teri biwi ko saap kaath raha hai
Banta:Chinta mat kar yarr,uska zahar khatam ho gaya hoga
Recharge karwane aaya hoga
**********
Santa Ghar ka Darwaza Ukhaad Ke
Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Jar Raha tha
Kisi Ne Pucha:Kahan Ja rahe Ho?
Santa:Taala Khulwanay
***********
Exam ANTHEM:
Hum sub honge pass
Hum sab honge pass ekdin
Ho ho
Likhte hai bakwaas
Fir bhi hai viswaas
Paper hoga Jakkhas Ek Din…
**********
Pappu ko truck ne takar mar di
Dost:Yar jo hona tha ho gaya,par tu itna dara hua Q hau?
Yar Q ki us truck ke piche likha tha
Fir milenge
**********
Santa:Yaar maine naye detergent se apni shirt dhuyi
Aur wo chhoti ho gayi! Ab kya karoon?
Banta:Usi detergent se ek baar khud naha le